THE PEACEABLE KINGDOM
OF WARREN TRICHE
Wild or domesticated, Louisiana’s animals couldn’t ask for a better friend in Baton Rouge than former State Representative Warren J. Triche, Jr. of Thibodaux.
Illustration by: John Carambat
“I try to do things because they're right,
and I ain't afraid of nobody.”
Term-limited after the 2007 legislative session, Warren Triche, a Democrat from Thibodaux served two decades in the House going out as Vice-Chair of the powerful Appropriations Committee. In a state that prizes colorful politicians, he is among the most colorful with a reputation for quotable shot-from-the-hip quips and attention-getting antics on the House floor – he once brought a mechanical talking parrot to the chamber to repeat key phases from a speech – especially for his favorite cause: the welfare of animals.
“Warren has always been our go-to guy in the legislature,” said Jeff Dorson, executive director of the Louisiana Humane Society. “He’s a treasure.”
Triche authored dozens of laws to prevent animal cruelty, creating a large and diverse menagerie of protected creatures – from lions, tigers, and leopards, to feral hogs beset by pit bulls for human fun and profit. Some of his bills have caused puzzlement, even derision. In 2007, for example, he won passage of a voluminous law to add cassowaries, emus, kiwis, ostriches, peafowls, ratites, rheas, swans, and certain ducks to the list of species protected by Louisiana’s humane laws. As usual, Triche was playing crazy, like a fox. The bill ended the legal fiction that classed these birds with chickens as “fowl” not “animals” in order to preserve legal cockfighting in Louisiana.
A life-long animal lover, Triche’s legislative crusades began twenty years ago in a feed store in Baker when he noticed a cage full of parakeets living in filth. Triche told the owner: “I’m pretty sure there’s a law against this. If there’s not, there should be.”
We caught up with Triche recently at his office at Nichols State University where he serves as assistant professor and associate dean of University College.
Here are excerpts from our interview.
Tell us about your interest in animals? It something you developed as a young boy, we would guess.
I raised all kinds of animals when I was a kid including alligators, turtles, anything but snakes. I wouldn't fool with snakes. Snakes I have no love for, in no way, shape, or form. You don't like snakes?
No, you can keep the snakes. I dealt with enough snakes on the House floor.
Do you have pets?
Oh yeah, I have a bunch of cats and a few dogs.
How many cats?
Too many to count. There were nine of them on the porch this morning, five of them in the house, so that's fourteen.
What does your wife say about all this?
Oh, she's the cat lover.
You're not a hunter…
No, I'm a fisherman. I'm the guy that passed the Anti-Gill Net Bill back in 1995.
How did you come to make animal welfare the focus of your legislative career?
I like to go to garage sales and unusual stores. One time I was in a feed store in Baker just looking around at old tools when I heard some parakeets. I walked over and there were about 16 parakeets in a small cage with not a drop of water, just a single orange peel for food, and thousands of cracked shells on the floor of the cage. I just couldn't believe the condition of filth these poor creatures were living in. So I went up to the owner and said: “You know, I'm not certain, but I'm pretty sure there's a law against your keeping these birds like this. And if there's not, there should be.” And he said: “Well, nobody asked your opinion.” And I said: “No, that's why I'm giving it to you.” Just for that, he threw me out the store and told me not to come back. Well when I went back the next Saturday, the birds were gone. That's how it started.
What a story…
It's true. Then after a while, I guess, a lot of the animal activist groups saw in me a love of animals. Anytime they had an issue, they came to me. And the rest is written down in history with all the bills I've been associated with…the Hog Dog Rodeo Bill, the Big Cat Bill, the Big Snake Bill.
What was the "Big Snake Bill" about?
Well, we tried to stop the importation of big pythons into Louisiana . They can get to be 18-, 20-, 25-feet long. When these snakes start to get big enough to strangle them and eat their children, their owners let them loose in the wild. I've seen one very, very horrific picture of a python eating an alligator…
Unbelievable, in Louisiana?
…And the alligator busting through the sides of the python's belly, you know, by shear strength of force. I mean the python had got to be 22-feet long and the alligator had to be about 12-feet long. And evidently the digestive juices of the alligator fought off the enzyme juices of the python and it busted through the sides. I mean that's a horrible, horrible picture to imagine. Animals of that size, if you will, eating each other…
When did this happen?
Uh, a couple of years ago. Then there was a case of a python choking and partially swallowing a poor little kid in another state. That brought up the need for the law here.
So how did the bill go down?
The dealers who are selling these things are making untold amounts of money. I barely got it out of committee and nobody wanted to handle it on the Senate floor. So we lost.
And the snakes won?
The snakes didn't win either because it's not fair to raise them in captivity and then let them out to get shot someday.
You did succeed with the “Big Cat Bill” which makes it illegal to import, possess, purchase or sell a big exotic cat…
…Except for Mike the Tiger. We said no mascots would be involved. I have sympathy for the big cats because I know what happens to them. People don't realize that this cute cuddly little cub is going to be 400 to 600 pounds before all is said and done. They can't find veterinarians who treat them. When a lion has a toothache, you can't tie a handkerchief around his head and give him an aspirin. So the animal gets sick and eventually dies from maltreatment. Or lack of treatment. It's a sad situation.
Are we doing enough to enforce humane laws already on the books?
No. Local authorities don't have enough people to do it. And number two, they don't look at animal welfare as a high priority.
Do you think that's changing with high-profile cases like the Michael Vick case? There's even a TV series called “Animal Cops”…
Right. I think the powers that be are beginning see that there's a huge constituency out there in favor of us taking care of animals and enforcing the law.
What else can be done?
You have to take the money and greed out of cruelty to animals. I hate to see animals abused and I hate to see people gain from it. Ninety-nine out of a hundred times gambling's involved. Take all the gamblers, and the people who sponsor gambling events, and put them in jail for a very, very long period of time to make them understand that this is wrong. That's what our bill was all about.
That would be the “Hog Dog Rodeo Bill”? You've called this practice “violent, cruel, inhumane, barbaric and damn well sadistic.”
Right. They take poor wild hogs and cut off their tusks with bolt cutters. Then they set vicious dogs on them to attack repeatedly. The only defenses the wild hog has are his tusks. So the dogs are not hurt and will continue to bite on every part of the hog's body, especially the ears. Imagine 150 pounds of pressure from the dog's bite. Now what kind of person gets a thrill out of that?
Is this mostly a rural thing?
It's the city thing too. You have big money players who bring in their dogs to be “trained,” guys that will pay $5,000 a dog for training. The hogs they catch from Texas and import into the state, 70 or so at a time. And when get into the pit with the dogs, they're scared to death.
And these rodeos are now illegal in Louisiana?
Yes, for the last four years now. Not the ones that are done legally and correctly in Winn Parish.
What's the difference?
Up there, the dogs cannot touch the hogs or they lose the contest. The fastest dog that puts a hog at bay is the winner.
About your retirement, the Louisiana Humane Society told us they'd like to give you another award if you've got room on your walls…
That would be okay. But I put all those things in a file cabinet. I got about, oh, 18 “Legislator of the Year” awards. I guess I have 30 other types of plaques. I've got four file cabinets full of them. I don't have to have that kind of recognition. It's nice, but I don't do things to get that kind of recognition. I try to do things because they're right and just.
Well you've done a lot for our state.
I've tried. I've tried my very, very best. And I ain't afraid of nobody.
Thank you.
All right. I appreciate you.
* * *
The Humane Society of Louisiana tracks legislation affecting animal welfare in Louisiana.
For more information, visit: http://www.humanela.org/
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